What is self-compassion? A therapist's guide to being kinder to yourself
Most people can list ten things wrong with themselves before they can name one thing they did well today. That harsh inner commentary feels normal, even useful, as if it keeps us sharp. In reality, it often does the opposite. It keeps us stuck in cycles of shame and self-criticism that make change harder, not easier. What is self-compassion Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same warmth, patience and understanding you would offer a close friend who was struggling. Rather than reacting to mistakes or setbacks with harsh judgement, self-compassion involves acknowledging difficulty, recognising it as part of the shared human experience, and responding with kindness instead of criticism. Psychologist Kristin Neff, whose research shaped much of the modern understanding of this concept, identified three interconnected components that make up self-compassion. Self-kindness over self-judgement This means noticing the impulse to criticise yourself and choosing a gentl...